Last Chance to Join the Pre-release List

In two days – Wednesday 22nd November – I will be pre-releasing a digital copy of “Why? Because Science!” to an exclusive list of people. If you want to join that list and be among the very first to clap eyes on this book, please send me your email in an comment below or privately to thea@thecontentqueen.co.za.

Is there a catch?

Too good to be true

The best things in life are free, my friends, and so I have decided to make the book free to those of you on my pre-release list. All I ask for in return is your help promoting the book on your social media channels (a simple shout-out and a link to the book on Amazon will do), and an Amazon review. There are no other T&Cs.

Why pre-release the book at all?

Amazon is essentially a search engine, which means that it functions like Google. If you want your business or product – in my case, a book – to appear at the top of the search results pages, it needs to be popular. The more the book is downloaded, the more reviews it gets, and the more traffic it receives, the more Amazon will perceive it to be popular. Since Amazon makes money every time the book is downloaded, it will do its best to help it sell well.

This is where the pre-release launch comes in. By giving a group of people my book (for free) and asking for a some promotion and reviews in return, the book gets off to a good start and (hopefully) attracts enough downloads, reviews, and traffic to tell Amazon that it is worthy of their support.

So, help a girl out!

help a girl out

Send me your email details and I’ll add you to the pre-release list. On Wednesday, you’ll get a link to the book as well as a little list of tasks you can do to help me promote the book, which will be officially launched on 1st December.

I’ll be extremely grateful for all your support!

 

The Scientific Method in Memes

the-scientific-method-in-science-memesW

Internet Memes: A Definition… or Approximation Thereof

For those of you who don’t know what a meme is, it’s a kind of visual or graphical internet trend or fad. Each of the above pictures is commonly used to express some sort of humorous comment or quip. The veloceraptor, for example, is often referred to as ‘hypothesaurus’ or better still ‘philosoraptor’ and says things like: “If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, why practice?”

The white cat, on the other hand always looks clever while making really bad yet somehow funny science jokes such as (and this is the worst I could find): ” would’ve gotten you flowers, but I never botany.”

*insert tumble weed into the desolate wasteland that is your sense of humour*

So now, if you haven’t learnt something about the scientific method, you’ve found out what a meme is, which makes you just that little bit cooler in the eyes of your 15-year old niece.

How To Bake a Diamond

Beautiful diamond gem

Diamonds have been getting men out of trouble for hundreds of years. They have also been getting men into trouble for hundreds of years. So, what’s so special about diamonds? They’re really pretty, they’re really strong, they have a great pair of tits…

Sorry, that’s Lara Croft.

DIAMONDS are really pretty, they’re really strong and they’re really RARE. They are also the gemstone of choice when it comes to getting hitched because, just like Shirley Bassey sang, diamonds are forever.

Diamonds are Forever… No, Really, They Are!

Aside from their unparalleled resilience and durability, diamonds are spectacular-looking rock minerals. Cut into a complex and intricate array of facets and planes, their refractive light properties send out a kaleidoscope of colour which spans the visible light spectrum, even though the gem itself appears totally translucent and colourless.

What are diamonds? What are they made of? How are they formed?

Yeah, yeah… what you REALLY want to know is what it takes to bake your own diamond so that you can become super rich and super lazy just like Paris Hilton. Well, just like everything else on this planet and in our universe really, diamonds are made of tiny, tiny building blocks. A closer look into their crystal structure tells us just how these highly coveted stones are formed.

Diamond, which is derived from the ancient Greek word adámas, meaning ‘unbreakable,’ is made from one of the most common elements here on planet Earth. It’s in the soil we walk on, in the air we breathe and in the food we eat. Here’s another clue: you’re made from it.

Carbon!

Diamonds from black carbon

It’s the same black crap your science teacher created from burning sugar, the same black crap the graphite in your pencil is made of and the same black crap shown in the picture above. Oh, how unromantic!

Surely such a rare and highly prized stone would be constructed from something equally as exotic and just as rare? Alas, my friends. It is not the building blocks of diamonds that make these stones so special, but rather the conditions under which they are forged. It’s like baking a cake: at the right temperature and with the right cooking time, the cake will come out beautiful, spongy, moist and delicious. At the wrong temperature and cooking time, the same batter will come out black, bitter, inedible and more appropriately used as a bludgeoning weapon.

Carbon + Contaminant = Colour!

Colorful diamond array

We’ve established that diamonds are made from carbon. Actually, they’re made from a carbon allotrope, just so that you geology geeks don’t get a kick out of correcting me. But for all intents and purposes, diamonds are essentially made out of carbon. And carbon is abundant. So, theoretically, you should be able to make your own diamonds! Just don’t tell anybody about it or you could throw a major spanner in the traditional works and symbolism of marriage, just like those pesky homosexuals who want equal rights. I mean, who do they think they are?

Hold on a minute! All it takes is carbon? Then what gives some diamonds their colour? Well noted, my avaricious rapscallions! Diamonds don’t ONLY come as colourless, expensive globules of carbon. Interestingly enough, the unique and very rigid arrangement of carbon atoms in the crystal structure of a diamond (cubic to be exact) makes it difficult for other chemical elements to infiltrate it, causing impurities. This explains why the insides of most diamonds look so beautifully pure and translucent.

Most, but not all.

Diamond, actually, is quite snobby. It only allows very particular elements into its crystal lattice and then again, it only does this on the rare occasion. To give you an idea of just how fussy diamond is, it is estimated that for every million atoms of well-behaved carbon, there is a single alien atom infiltrator. The result: a fantastic analogy for opening your heart to different races, creeds, genders and nationalities.

And colour!

The colour of a diamond can have a huge influence on the amount wealthy housewives get their husbands to pay for them. Blues and greens are exceptionally rare, so they will fetch a high price. Yellows and browns are more common. And there’s nothing like a brown diamond to make you feel REAL special.

Now, gather your cooking implements and turn the oven on… HOT.

Hot temperature oven

Diamond Recipe

What You’ll Need:

  1. Carbon
  2. A choice of chemical impurity or radioactive element (for colour)
  3. Titanium metal
  4. A shovel
  5. Patience
  6. A degree in town planning

Step 1: Take carbon and mix in desired chemical impurity, or pilfer local science laboratory for radioactive element*.

* If you want to bake a blue diamond like the one Rose threw into the ocean at the end, you need to add boron to your mix of carbon. If you want to bake a yellow diamond, you’ll need nitrogen. If you want your diamond to turn a more exotic shade of purple, pink, red or orange, then make sure you bury it close to a radioactive element, such as plutonium or uranium. Other colours, such as black, brown and sometimes even red and pink are caused by structural flaws that harbour dark impurities that only make them appear the colour they are.

Step 2: Put ingredients into an air-tight and incredibly durable box.

Step 3: Phone NASA for left-over titanium to build said box. If you struggle to get past some power-tripping secretary, you can always melt down your brother’s professional tennis racquet; a legacy from the days he actually thought he’d be a professional at anything. If THAT fails, dental implants are made from titanium, but whatever you do, don’t get caught at the morgue.

Step 4: Bury carbon-filled box at a depth of between 140 and 190 kilometres, or 85 to 120 miles, where there exist conditions of immense pressure and temperature. An ambient temperature of at least 1,050 deg Celsius is what you’re aiming for.

Step 5: Bake for at least one billion years, but it could take as long as three billion years. This is where patience comes in handy.

Step 6: Wait for a super-deep volcanic eruption to bring the box of crystallized carbon to the near-surface of the Earth.

Step 7: Plant a flag at the location, build a town, exploit the native inhabitants as your labour force and dig a big hole in the ground to retrieve your creation.

Step 8: Allow to cool before eating.

Class Dismissed: Your Take-Home Message

Beautiful gem diamonds

It’s probably better to buy a diamond than make your own.

This aside, the next time you walk past a jewellery store or stare lovingly at your own engagement/wedding ring, you should look – really look – at the diamond. Know that the real beauty of these radiant gems transcends the price tag affixed to them. Diamonds are approximately half the age of the Earth, they will last your lifetime and millions more like yours and they’re composed of carbon, the very same building blocks as you and me.

The very same material that is forged in the hearts of dying stars.

Calling All Nerds: Lend Me Your Likes!

Like button FacebookSince the conception of social media sharing and networking, sites like Facebook, Twitter and the like have proliferated across the Internet like an outbreak of High School chlamydia. Aside from enabling you to stalk your office crush and remember your mom’s birthday, social media has become an exceptionally useful tool in helping dreams become reality and potentially profitable, too.

Why? Because Science is and always has been a labor of love and passion for me, and I’ve been fortunate enough to gather a tremendous following quite organically. Success, however, is no finite thing and so the next step has been the creation of WBS very own Facebook page, so that it can hopefully move to the next tier of success. Click on the following link to view it:

Ta-dah! Why? Because Science Facebook Page

Why Because Science

I need your help to achieve this success, but this can be a two-way relationship for us… If you take the time to check out the new WBS Facebook page and give it a hearty Facebook “Like,” I will personally thank you by recommending your blog to my 23,000 followers on the official WBS’ website page. All you have to do is (1) like the WBS Facebook page and (2) leave a comment under THIS post with your name and blog site. Please make sure the name you leave corresponds with your Facebook ID or else I won’t know it’s you. I’ll be publishing my appreciation on Wednesday 9th December and I’ll do it regardless of how pathetic the response.

If this all doesn’t work for you, here are three other reasons you might consider liking the new Why? Because Science Facebook page:

  1. You’ll get sexy servings of moist science in your box, I mean, in your inbox. Forget opening two illicit Internet windows at work – by liking this page, you’ll get frequent science updates on your Facebook wall, meaning you can spy on your ex and educate/entertain yourself at the same time!
  1. You can dilute the vapid updates and puke-worthy declarations of love of your Facebook “friends” with sexy, entertaining science news, blogs, funny pictures and holy-crap-did-you-see-that? videos. You can even impress your attractive colleague with your fantastic knowledge on trending science topics and maybe end up lucky like this guy…

funny nerd picture

  1. You’ll be helping me achieve the dream of someday publishing a book, because a large following on Facebook motivates publishers to take long-suffering science nerds like me seriously.

That is all, thank you!

Beards are Sexy. This is Science. Sort Of.

funny-sexy-beard-guy

Beards have been popular since our conception as a species, when our entire body was one big beard. As we evolved and became “civilised”, the amount of hair it was “cool” to have on one’s body became less and less. That is, until the 70’s when it became popular for both men AND women to sport a beard (no prizes for guessing where the women hid theirs.) Today, there is a massive resurgence in the appreciation of beards. And not pathetic attempts at sculpting a goatee, but rather big, bushy, manly beards, like King Leonidas from the movie “300” or Khal Drogo from the series “A Game of Thrones”…

Khal Drogo Game of Thrones

Source: Glamour Magazine UK 

I mean, can you actually deal? *swoon*

Today, beards are cool again and I’m kind of happy about that, because some men really do look sexy with a beard and I’m glad we’re embracing our natural state a little more. So, in honour of the beard, here’s your Daily Dose of Funny Science!

Funny beard facts