Boplaas Family Vineyards Celebrate Their Portuguese Wine Range Over Lunch at Jonkershuis Restaurant

The Portuguese are an indelible part of the Cape’s rich tapestry of history, having paved the way for the Dutch seafarers and the Cape’s first settlement by European explorers more than 500 years ago. So, while Verdehlo, Tinta Barocca, Souzã, and Touriga Nacional might not sound like they belong here in South Africa, there is something about Boplaas’ range of Portuguese wines that feels like a return to the roots for us.

The question asked by many, though, is why? Why Portuguese wine? Well, that comes down to a fortuitous, yet quite accidental turn of events…

The Portuguese connection

Boplaas Wine South Africa

After a visit to the Swartland in the late 1970’s Boplaas patriarch Oupa Danie Nel returned with a desire to plant Shiraz in Calitzdorp, so he promptly ordered vines from a nursery, only to discover several years later that what he had planted was, in fact, Tinta Barocca. What could have been viewed as a disastrous accident set the Nel family on a course that would forever change their farm, bringing to South Africa a range of grape varietals that are actually very much suited to our hot and dry climate, particularly that of the Klein Karoo.

Today, Boplaas Family Vineyards produce, in addition to several other table wines, award-winning Cape Vintage Ports, and spirits, a “Portuguese Collection”. This is a range of single varietal and blended wines that really showcase the quality and diversity of wines produced from traditional Portuguese varieties as interpreted by South African soil.

On a more practical level, Boplaas’ introduction of Portuguese varietals constitutes an important move towards a more sustainable future for South Africa’s wine industry. Through conditioning, these vines tend to be hardy, well-adjusted to heat, and comfortable with drought, making them an excellent fit for parts of the country that were previously not considered suitable to viticulture, such as Calitzdorp in the Little Karoo, which is where Boplaas is located; and potentially a better fit overall considering our drought crisis.

Portuguese wine has a deep connection with the Cape’s past (early Portuguese explorers) and a very valid connection with our present and future (it’s suitability to our climate and ability to withstand drought).

But is it any good?

We gathered at Jonkershuis Restaurant in Groot Constantia to find out because, at 370 km distance from Cape Town, a trip to the town of Calitzdorp would have been a bit too far, even for a good lunch!

Groot Constantia Wine Estate

A tasting of Boplaas’ Portuguese Collection

We commenced our tasting with a flight of four wines and two vintages of the Boplaas Cape Vintage Reserve Port. The first wine was the Boplaas Cape Portuguese White Blend 2018, a refreshing and easy-drinking blend of 50% Verdehlo (Portuguese varietal), 25% Chardonnay, and 25% Sauvignon Blanc. This light white wine has a fragrant nose of tropical fruits, pineapple, citrus, and yellow pair with a crisp acidity, making it easy drinking and, at only R70 per bottle online*, incredibly good value for money.

*All prices quoted have been sourced online at www.boplaas.co.za/shop/

Boplaas Wine South Africa

Next up was the Boplaas Gamka Branca 2017 (R177), the estate’s flagship white, a Chardonnay-based blend featuring an alchemy of five other wine varietals, including Chenin, Rousanne, Grenache Blanc, Viognier, and Verdehlo (Portuguese varietal). This barrel fermented and matured white blend displays a satisfying mélange of citrus blossom, lime marmalade, creamy lemon, and subtle spice, supported by grippy tannins.

We then tried the Boplaas Tinta Barocca 2017 (R89), an aromatic, medium bodied red wine with a gorgeous earthy and red fruit perfume of ripe plums, raspberry jam, and lively spices and velvety soft tannins. It was the accidental planting of this grape varietal that pretty much kicked off Nel family’s affinity for Portuguese wines. Today, a paltry 221 hectares of this tenacious, quality Portuguese grape varietal grow throughout the Cape, which accounts for only 0.2% of the total vineyard area in the country.

Our final wine before the two ports was the Boplaas Gamka 2015 (R259), a seductively smooth, full bodied red blend (the estate’s flagship) of old vine Touriga Nacional and Tinta Barocca from the Boplaas farm, and Shiraz from Stellenbosch. This Portuguese varietal-driven blend is matured in new French oak for 12 months and boasts dark, plummy fruits, lovely spice, strong tannins, and a long, languorous finish. My favourite thus far!

A charming bit of trivia: The name for both the white and red flagship wines comes from the Gamka River, which flows through Calitzdorp, and from which the farm receives its irrigation. The Gamka River was named after the Xhosa word for lion because of the roaring sound it makes when swollen with rainwater.

Boplaas Cape Vintage Ports

Boplaas also pays homage to Portugal through its Cape Vintage Reserve Ports, of which we tasted the 2006 and 2016 vintages. Port – or Cape port, lest I get into trouble – ages exceptionally well; so well that our host Carel Nel kept referring to the 2006 vintage as “still a baby”. In that case, the 2016 must be positively prenatal, although it tasted beautifully lush, fruity, and moreish to my uneducated palate.

Boplaas Wine Tasting South Africa

Carel then related a most interesting anecdote about a blind port tasting he participated in, which involved “real” port from the Douro Valley in the northern provinces of Portugal and Boplaas’ very own Cape Vintage Reserve Port. With Boplaas’ Cape port declared the best, Carel had the pleasure of revealing its provenance, and I’m sure there were more than just a few red faces around the room that day.

Lunch and (even more) wine

With the tasting concluded, it was now time to test the wines’ mettle against food. Lunch was catered for by the farm-style, yet elegantly dressed Jonkershuis Restaurant at Groot Constantia and was a three-course affair starting with creamy mussels and freshly baked bread paired with the Boplaas Bobbejaanberg Sauvignon Blanc 2018 (R116). This wine is made from single vineyard grapes high up in the Outeniqua Mountains of the Upper Langkloof ward. Owing to its cool climate origin, it delivers a rich vegetal bouquet of capsicum and green asparagus, flavours of lime leaf, white peach, and calciferous minerality, and a lush fynbos finish.

Jonkershuis Restaurant Groot Constantia

Mains was slow-roasted lamb with rosemary reduction, crispy potatoes, new broccoli, and carrots, which beautifully paired with the Boplaas Touriga Nacional 2017 (R92), a varietal aptly known as “the king of Portuguese vines.” This powerfully elegant wine featured fulsome tannins, a nose of ripe black plum, vibrant rich spice, and fynbos, and notes of cocoa with a savoury undercurrent.

Jonkershuis Restaurant Groot Constantia

Finally, dessert was a vanilla pod panna cotta with a seasonal berry compote and fresh strawberries, which was paired with the honey sweet Ouma Cloete Straw Wine 2015 (R154), named after Carel Nel’s great grandmother who originally moved from the Constantia valley in the late 1800’s to settle in Calitzdorp. It was then that we all recognised the significance of hosting the Boplaas tasting at Groot Constantia, aside from saving us the monstrous drive to Calitzdorp. The Cloetes used to live here!

Jonkershuis Restaurant Groot Constantia

In the spirit of things

In addition to their numerous wine ranges, ports, and gorgeous sweet dessert wines, Boplaas also has a distillery, and it’s here that Daniel Nel is the boss. The event kicked off with Boplaas gin and tonics beneath Groot Constantia’s ancient oaks and concluded with a tasting of their six-year single grain whiskey, aged in a port cask, and their famous potstill reserve brandy. It’s a miracle I walked out of there with my dignity intact.

Boplaas Wine and spirits South Africa

A part of the story of the Cape

531 Years ago, Portuguese mariner Bartolomeu Dias became the very first European to explore the southern coastline of South Africa. His mission was to plot a trade route to the Far East via the “Cabo das Tormentas” – the Cape of Storms. Nine years later, Portuguese seafarer Vasco da Gama completed the trip, landing in India a whole 14 months after departing Lisbon. In a way, the Nel family of the Boplaas Family Vineyards are as intrepid explorers as these early Portuguese seafarers, which, to me, tells a wonderful tale of innovation, unquenchable curiosity, and bravery.

Boplaas Family Vineyards
Saayman Street, Calitzdorp
Contact: +27 44 21 33 326, boplaas@mweb.co.za
www.boplaas.co.za

Groot Constantia is open seven days a week. For bookings and enquiries, please email enquiries@grootconstantia.co.za or call 021 794 5128. For more information, check out the website at www.grootconstantia.co.za.

This article was originally written by Thea Beckman for Southern Vines Magazine, the largest lifestyle and leisure magazine in the Western Cape of South Africa: http://www.southernvines.co.za/2019/06/04/boplaas-family-vineyards-jonkershuis-restaurant/

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One-of-a-kind Wine Tasting Experience at Esona Boutique Winery

Esona wine Robertson South Africa

When one speaks of the internationally-renown Cape Winelands, the leafy, winemaking towns of Stellenbosch and Franschhoek tend to dominate the limelight. Yet, two-hours outside of the city lies a pristine valley, where winemaking tradition, history, culture, and talent is as strong as it is in its celebrity counterparts: the Robertson Wine Valley. Here, a constellation of wineries contributes tirelessly to the wine culture of our country and a shining star among them all is Esona Boutique Winery.

“The very one”: single vineyard, limited release wines

Esona, which means “the very one” in Xhosa, lies sandwiched between the towns of Robertson and Bonnievale in the heart of the Robertson Wine Valley, with the Langeberg to the north and the Riviersonderend Mountains to the south. From the second floor of its pretty winery, one gets a sense of orientation and views of vineyards that extend all the way down to the Breede River, the valley’s central artery that supplies all the farms with life-giving water.

Robertson Wine Valley South Africa

Floating like a stalwart ship in an ocean of green vineyards, Esona’s winery and underground cellar is a compact building that caters to every expectation: stylish interior with charming historic elements, delicious food platters, a lovely selection of wines, friendly staff, absolutely gorgeous views, and a unique underground cellar tasting experience. In order to get there, one is required to walk through a short section of vineyards, which is testament to the boutique status of the estate because if they had hoards of visitors, the plants would likely suffer.

Girl power at Esona Boutique Winery

The assistant winemaker at Esona Boutique Winery is Charmaine, who, in addition to obliterating the male winemaker gender stereotype, worked her way up from farm labourer to her current position. If anyone has an intimate understanding of the grapes and the vineyards, it’ll be the person who once tended to them with their very own hands.

In this way, the family behind Esona are dedicated to empowering their staff and the people in their community, not only by hiring them, but by training, mentoring, and allowing them to realise their full potential irrespective of where they started out in life. Wine tasting assistants are able to become managers, and farm labourers are able to become wine makers. These individuals have the talent and the team at Esona gave them the necessary education, skills, and techniques.

Esona Wine, Robertson South Africa
Photograph credit: http://www.esona.co.za

A candlelit, Riedel glass wine-tasting in the “Kuip”

Upon arriving at Esona Boutique Winery and after a welcome glass of their fresh “Frankly My Dear” Pinot Noir Blanc de Noir, our party of four descended into the quiet, dimly-lit, and intimate space of the “kuip”, the underground cellar. Decades ago, in the era prior to the adoption of sophisticated climate control technology, winemakers would build great cement cisterns underground where temperatures were cool and protected from the daily fluctuations. Within these great subterranean cisterns, the juice from the grapes would be allowed to ferment in peace, producing quality, delicious wine. The old cellar at Esona has since been reconstructed to accommodate guests such as us and for one of the Cape’s most unique wine tasting experiences.

Esona underground cellar wine tasting
Photograph credit: http://www.esona.co.za

And so we sat down to an absolute must-do of an activity for any visitor to the Robertson Wine Valley: a “vertical” wine tasting (and food and music pairing) from Riedel glassware. On the table were two vintages of three different wines from Esona’s collection – a Sauvignon Blanc, Chardonnay, and Shiraz. The idea is to taste the difference between the two vintages of the same wines and how an extra year or two plays out beautifully in the character and depth of the wine. The tastings were also done using famous glassware known as Riedel glasses, which have been specifically crafted to draw out the subtlest of flavours and most nuanced of aromas in specific cultivars.

Esona wine Robertson

The Chardonnay glass, for example, was elegant, long-stemmed, and had a round, almost fish bowl-shaped (not sized, unfortunately) vestibule. This shape is said to complement the voluptuous character of Esona’s Chardonnay and to allow its rich buttery, caramel notes to sing. The effects of the shape of the glassware on the flavours and aromas of the wine were highlighted by sniffing and sipping the same wine out of low-end restaurant wine glasses. For someone with an education rooted in the sciences, I was at first sceptical, but the difference was not just perceptible but significantly so!

Riedel glassware is the creative collaboration of talented and experienced glassblowers and winemakers, the product of which is the perfect vestibule from which to enjoy your Shiraz, Sauvignon Blanc, Chardonnay, etc.

Riedle Glassware wine tasting
Photo credit: http://www.riedel.com

Wine, food, and music pairing

In addition to the vertical tasting and the use of Riedel glasses, there was a third and a fourth element: a pairing with Lindt chocolate and fruit preserves and music to match the wine. Our round of Sauvignon Blanc was enjoyed with light, classical music, while the Shiraz had country music as its soundtrack.

Every element of our visit to Esona Boutique Winery – the tasting, glassware, sweet accompaniments, music, views, food, walk through the vineyards, and of course Esona’s limited release single vineyard wines – was lovely and came together to create a (highly recommendable) symphonic experience.

Esona Robertson Wine Valley South Africa

Contact Esona Boutique Winery:
Phone: 076 343 5833
Website: www.esona.co.za

This article was originally written for Southern Vines Magazine: http://www.southernvines.co.za/2018/01/15/one-kind-wine-tasting-experience-esona-boutique-winery/

Introducing “Wine of the Week” AKA Thirsty Thursday

South African Winelands

Who doesn’t get thirsty on Thursdays? You’ve managed to crawl through the majority of the work week, nailed the meetings you were dreading, and survived the voluminous injection of caffeine into your bloodstream. The weekend is so close you can practically smell your sleep-soaked pyjamas and boozy breath!  Surely we’ve earned ourselves a glass of wine (or three)?

In the immortal words of Barack Obama: YES WE CAN!

Look no further for recommendations! Every week, I showcase a wine I’m absolutely loving, which may come with a little history/science lesson on the cultivar (grape varietal) used to make it, depending on my mood. I will be posting these on my Facebook page, Wander Woman Thea and on my Instagram account (@wander_woman_thea) so go ahead and like or follow. Let’s be friends!

I’ll also chat a little about the nose (aromas) and flavour profile of the wines, which may sound enormously pretentious to those of you who are yet to discover the wonderful world of wine, but isn’t, I assure you.

I know, I know… The first time I heard someone describe a wine as smelling of “green peppers, grapefruit, and pencil shavings” I mirthfully snorted in their face. You’re joking, right?

“Apparently not,” said their withering stare.

Here’s the simple logic behind the nose of the wine and I’m using the example of green peppers here. The chemical that causes a green pepper to smell the way it does – a sort of savoury, herbaceous, and vegetal smell – is called methoxypyrazine. That very same chemical compound is found in wine, particularly in the cultivars originating from the Bordeaux region of France: Sauvignon Blanc, Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Malbec, and so on.

So while there is obviously no green pepper in your wine, you can detect this aroma because the wine contains methoxypyrazine. The same applies for a spectrum of other fruits, vegetables, substances, and inanimate objects. The chemicals or, in the case of fruits, sweet-smelling esters that give them their trademark smell are present in wine to varying degrees. This is what you’re smelling.

It takes time and repeated wine swilling, sniffing, and quaffing to begin to identify these aromas. With practice, your brain will tie up its hair, slap on a pair of reading glasses, and start cataloging these smells, building a useful library, which you can draw upon to sound really smart the next time you go wine tasting with friends.

With that brief lesson out of the way, I have but one final side note for you before I proceed to tell you about the absolutely lip-smacking, eye-closing, panty-dropping wine I’ve discovered.

Opinions are like a**holes

The selection I make each week is entirely my own and is most often based upon (1) my personal tastes, (2) the wine region I’m currently exploring, and (3) the wine I think is best suited to the season. With that said, I will do my best to present a fair variety of both red and white wines of various cultivars and blends.

You should also know that I live in South Africa so most of my recommendations will come from here. South Africa is one of the oldest “New World” winemaking regions in the world and a progenitor of wines that can and do compete with the most internationally recognised and acclaimed vintners out there. In other words, if you love wine, you’ve got to add South Africa, and particularly Cape Town, to your bucket list. The wine here is phenomenal.

Here are my weekly selections thus far:

Idiom Zinfandel (Primitivo) 2014

Wine of the Week 1

From the foothills of Sir Lowry’s Pass in the Helderberg valley comes a Zinfandel of such sexy, sultry delight, my relationship with it feels personal. This red wine bursts with ripe fruits and berries, is velvety in delivery, and has an incredible nose of fynbos and eucalyptus. Actually, this characteristic is present in most of Idiom’s wines and is a testament to the intimate relationship between the vines and a terroir dominated by fynbos and stands of Eucalyptus trees.

What I absolutely love about this Zinfandel is its exceptionally perfumed nose. If a sun-beaten bush of fynbos bonked a cherry tree and they made a baby, this is what that offspring hybrid fruit/flower would smell like. On the palate, these fynbossy, almost minty aromas unfurl into a beautiful, silky red wine that’s perfect on a cool spring evening and, in my opinion, with or without food.

Zinfandel is a moderate tannin, high acid red cultivar that’s mistakenly believed by many to originate from the United States. In fact, DNA fingerprinting has confirmed that Zinfandel is an ancient Croatian cultivar that is genetically identical to Primitivo, an Italian cultivar.

Excelsior Evanthuis Cabernet Sauvignon 2013

Wine of the week

Named after a race horse reared on the estate, the Excelsior “Evanthuis” Cabernet Sauvignon 2013 is a wine of exceptional weight and character. A deep inky red in colour, this wine, which hails from the Robertson Wine Valley (an approximate 2 hours’ drive from Cape Town) is big and seductive with syrupy black currants and violets on the nose, and dense fruit flavours supported by a strong tannic backbone. In other words, it’s bloody delicious and since we’re still waiting for the weather to get the memo that spring has arrived here in the Cape, it’s perfect to enjoy right now!

The cultivar itself requires little introduction. Cabernet Sauvignon is one of the world’s most widely recognized red wine grape varieties. And if you thought that Napa Valley was the only region that did a good job of producing “big Cabs” think again. Our warm climate combined with the tender, loving maritime sea breezes that flow off of the Atlantic Ocean create red wines of enormous flavour, elegance, and structure.

La Bri Barrel Select Chardonnay 2016

I began my career as a professional wine drinker with a heavy preference for dry red wines. It was only with my first sip of an obnoxiously wooded Chardonnay (rich, buttery, caramel flavours) that my eyes were opened to the possibility that, hey, I could actually like this stuff! And so I began trying every wooded Chardonnay I could get my paws on. My initial obsession with heavily wooded white wines has calmed down and now I seem to have achieved equilibrium, which explains why La Bri’s Barrel Select Chardonnay 2016 makes my heart quiver.

Chardonnay from Franschhoek South Africa

This rich and rounded Chardonnay from Franschhoek (South Africa) has been crafted from grapes growing on La Bri Wine Estate’s oldest vines, which were planted in 1991, making them older than Justin Bieber. Genteel, gracious, and multi-award-winning, this fabulous Chardonnay boasts flavours of oatmeal and shortbread with a vivacious undercurrent of tangerine. It’s absolutely delicious and well-suited to any weather.

Say hello to the other side

Here in South Africa, one of the most popular white wines is Sauvignon Blanc, which, unfortunately, the public seems to enjoy extremely young. Mere months after the year’s harvest has been pressed, fermented, and bottled,  the young Sauvignon Blancs are whisked to market and sold for a trifling R30 to R80 ($2 to $5).

Marketers describe them as “zesty, fresh, tart”.

I describe them as pissy.

In fairness, not all young Sauvignon Blancs will turn your face inside out, but when you consider what a bit of age does to these wines, it’s a travesty to consume them so young. Why not wait for them to age a little? You know:  open their eyes, develop a bit of character, and sprout a pair of boobs?

The saturation of bottle store shelves and restaurant menus with young wines is precisely why I felt an aversion to white wines for so long. It was thanks to an accidental tasting of a super rich, opulent, and golden Chardonnay that I actually stopped to take stock of “the other side”. In that moment, I realised that, hey, not all white wine has to taste like your flat mate forgot to tell you that he’s been storing clean pee in the refrigerator in case of a surprise drug test at work. In fact, the world of white wine is enormously diverse and bursting with fruit, fabulous flavours, and a damn good time!

So, if you align yourself with any side of the red wine / white wine divide, I urge you to try a beautiful Chardonnay like La Bri’s Barrel Select 2016 and let it open your eyes to the other side [*insert Adele soundtrack here*]. For red wine lover’s, it’ll open your eyes to the world of white wine and for white wine lovers, it’ll open your eyes to wines that aren’t super fresh, young, and pissy.

Get with it!

Funny thirsty Thursday picture

Today’s Thursday, which means that I shall be publishing another “Wine of the  Week” post. If you haven’t already done so, get your butts on Facebook and give my page a like (Wander Woman Thea) or follow me on Instagram (@wander_woman_thea) to see what indulgent tipple this week brings. I’m all about sharing the love so drop me a message if you want me to follow you back, especially if you’re as passionate about food, travel, and wine as I am.

Let me know what wine you’re drinking today!

Ode to Wine – How Wine is Made

woman whit champagne wine glasses, lady celebration party

I used to think I knew a fair bit about wine. Lord knows I consume enough of the stuff to have a PhD in wine drinking, but unfortunately that’s not a real qualification and if it was, the job market would be so saturated I wouldn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of employment.

I did serve time in an Italian restaurant while studying, so I learned about the different kinds of wine, the cultivars of grapes used to make wine and how to pair them up with food. I also built a wine rack with the help of my father, which now serves as a particularly ugly bookshelf. Around the same time, I bought myself a John Platter guide, which provides a comprehensive list of all the South African wineries along with a description and rating of their annual repertoires. A one star wine is good to poach your pears in, but a five-star wine is a sure-fire way to impress your date.

And so, you see, the wine rack (perpetually empty), the restaurant education, the dedication to wine drinking and the John Platter guide really imbued me with the sense of wine wisdom. That is, until I started reading up about wine making. You would never guess just how intricate the process involved is and the degree of fine chemistry that goes into making a good glass of vino. It’s all about balancing acids, exploiting the biology of fungus and harnessing the power of organic chemistry.

Naturally, I decided to write a blog about the magical science that brings us wine!

Why? Because, shut up! No one ever needed a reason to talk about wine.

How to Make Alcohol (You’re Welcome)

wine bottles stacked  with very limited depth of field

There are two extremely good reasons why prison guards are constantly busting inmates for bootlegging liquor. (1) After a day dodging molestation and staring at whitewashed brick walls, alcohol must seem like the elixir of the Gods, and (2) alcohol is ridiculously easy to make. It’s a simple one-liner chemistry equation that requires ingredients you could find in even the most basic of kitchens: Sugar, water and yeast.

Yeast is a tiny, tiny fungus that uses sugar, also known as glucose, to grow. It’s what we use to make breads rise and it’s what is needed to make alcohol. Mother nature is awesome. By throwing the right measure of yeast into a vat of sugar water, you provide this fungus with the ingredients it needs to survive. It eats the glucose, farts out carbon dioxide and produces alcohol as a by-product according the following chemical equation:

C6H12O–> 2 CO+ 2C2H5OH

In English:

Glucose –> Carbon Dioxide + Alcohol

French microbiologist and chemist Louis Pasteur was the one who discovered that adding yeast to sugar and water yielded alcohol and this lead to the conception of the field of fermentation, which actually has a name: zymology. The same man who brought us pasteurized milk also discovered that the acidity of a sugar solution could affect the speed with which the yeast metabolises sugar. This is an important concern of wine-makers because grapes naturally contain acid and if the solution thrown into the vats at the end of the day is too acidic or too alkaline, the yeast won’t ferment optimally. The result is that it can end up affecting the taste of the wine considerably.

It could mean the difference between pinot and piss.

What’s in a Grape?

woman beauty grapes

Grapes may seem small, oval and innocent, but they’re packed with all sorts of stuff that winemakers take a very great interest in. And rightly so, because even though a good wine may have a bouquet of (smell like) citrus, guava, green peppers, passion fruit, a crisp spring morning and the possibility of a good rodgering, there’s only one fruit that goes into it’s making and that’s grapes, which, as it turns out, contain more than just sugar and water:

  • Water
  • Sugar (glucose and fructose)
  • Two main acids: tartaric and malic acid
  • Vitamin C
  • Vitamin A
  • 20 Different amino acids
  • Potassium,
  • Esters (sweet-smelling hydrocarbons)

The exact time of year the grapes are harvested is extremely important, because the older they get, the sweeter they become, very much unlike your cantankerous grandfather. Grapes that are overripe contain a lot of sugar, which is why “late harvest” wines are sweet and taste like raisons. Grapes that aren’t ripe enough don’t contain enough sugar, which you will know if you’ve ever innocently plucked an unripe grape off the vine. They cause your face to implode.

Baby sour face

THEN of course there are the different kinds of grapes to consider. Sauvignon blanc, chenin blanc, riesling, sémillon, gewürztraminer, chardonnay, moscato and pinot grigio are all cultivars (kinds) of grapes that are used to make white wines. syrah, cabernet sauvignon, zinfandel, merlot, malbec, barbera, pinot noir and sangiovese are all cultivars of grapes that are used to make red wines.

What determines the taste and colour characteristics of the kinds of wines produced from these cultivars is the size of the grape, the thickness of the skin and the flesh-to-skin ratio of the grape. The skin is the source of all the chemicals that make a wine heavy, full-bodied and dry, so the thicker the skin and the smaller the flesh-to-skin ratio of the grape, the more complex, more full-bodied and drier the wine will be, such as the cabernet wines. Large grapes with thin skins therefore yield wines that are fruitier and light to medium bodied, such as merlot.

Red bunch of grapes in the vineyard

SO how do these delectable varieties of grapes get from the vine and into your face after a really crap day in the office?

Wine in the Making

1-How wine is made 1

Grapes are plucked off their gnarled vines and delivered to the cellars where all the leaves, stems, rotten grapes and unlucky caterpillars are removed. It is here that the sorting procedures begin that will determine what kind of wine these valiant grapes are destined to become.

White wines are made from the grape juice alone, so these grapes will have their skins removed after crushing. Red wines are made from the juice AND the skin, so they get to keep their clothes on. The grapes are crushed and the resultant sludgy, lumpy grape goo is pumped into shallow fermentation vats. Here, in the case of red wine, this purple porridge is stirred up and constantly agitated to prevent bacteria from establishing a foothold on the floating grape skins like tiny little Rose DeWitt Bukaters on tiny little grape skin doors in the middle of a vast purple Atlantic Ocean.

RoseAndTheOversizedTitanicDoorCouldJackHaveFit-59915

Just saying… they COULD have made it work

Yeast can be added to aid the fermentation process, during which time the mixture will become increasingly alcoholic and less and less sweet as all that glucose is metabolised by the yeast. The mixture is also stirred up to encourage oxygenation of the mixture, since yeast needs oxygen to live.

By the way, never EVER search the word “yeast” in Google Images. Some things cannot be unseen.

Once fermentation is completed to the desired extent by the winemaker, in other words the right level of alcohol content, sweetness and balance of flavour has been achieved, the sludge will be run through a series of machines that will press out the skins and other flotsam and jetsam so that the remaining mixture is juicy juice. This is then transferred to either wood, usually oak, or steel barrels, depending on the precise taste characteristics the winemaker is trying to achieve.

Wooded or Unwooded?

How wine is made

Whoops! How did I get in that picture?

Wine that is matured in wooden barrels tends to have a – SURPRISE – woody flavour. It gives it an aged, earthy characteristic that is most pleasant in a headier chardonnay or shiraz. And, of course, the age of the wood itself can influence the outcome of the wine. Flavours can also be added to maturing wine by introducing planks of wood that have been toasted over a fire. This tends to result in the rich, coffee, chocolatey flavours that have become so immensely popular here in South Africa.

Throughout maturation, the winemaker will regularly sample the wine to ensure that it is on the right track to securing him a beautiful, expensive white or a quaffable supermarket red, or vice versa. Finally, after a maturation period of six months to three years, the wine will be carefully filtered, bottled, sent to market, purchased by people like me and poured down our gullets, ending the grand process in our brains where it is allowed to affect our judgements.

Class Dismissed: Your Take-Home Message

Winemaking may sound like one of those professions you’d be LUCKY to have, like professional surfing or being a judge on Masterchef, but there is a huge amount of pressure involved. It takes an intimate knowledge of organic chemistry and a fine palate to achieve wines that people (notably obnoxiously wealthy people) consider worthy of their Coq au vin or Bœuf bourguignon. What’s more, you only have one harvest every year to get it right, so unless you are a trust fund baby with unlimited cash at your disposal, you simply cannot afford to bugger around.

Think about this the next time you sip on a smooth merlot, an aged syrah or oaked chardonnay. And think about all the billions of fungi that had to die to deliver to you a succulent sauvignon blanc or a tenacious tempranillo. Appreciate the chemistry and toil that goes into the libation you so enjoy after a day of work, or a day of anything really. Now go forth and drink wine!

If it was good for Jesus, it’s good for you!

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Image Source: The Independent “Vatican City drinks more wine per person than anywhere else in the world.”